he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
