You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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