so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
