You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
