She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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