Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
