On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize