My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
