i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
