Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
