I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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