i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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