So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize