doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
