ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
