im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
