Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
