sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
