talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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