even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
