have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
