I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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