i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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