mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just googled if crying burns calories
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
