so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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