Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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