i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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