Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
