They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
