we're blogging at a bar
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
