How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sext me about skeletons
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
