ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
