Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
