I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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