dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
