I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
