FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
