i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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