dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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