It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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