Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
