Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
