After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
