thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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