Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my sisters under your porch take her home
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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