Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Randomize
