The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
