The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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