The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
