u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
