brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She said her name was "party"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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