he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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