she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
