Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
