I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
