I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
