i permit you to call me
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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