singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
