you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
